Confusion.

I don't know why am I feeling like this. When I graduated in high school last March 30,2009, my decision of taking up BSIT in college was fixed and irrevocable. Even my father wasn't able to change my mind knowing that he wanted me to take up Nursing. My mother supported me all the way. I was happy that I'll be having the course I wanted unlike what happened to my sister who was forced to take up Nursing (but she's doing great).



But now, I am having a confusion to the course I have taken. It's as if I was punished for not following the decision of my father.



I am terribly hating my school, subjects, some instructors, as well as my schoolmates (but I love my classmates!).



It seems that the scenario goes like this, yesterday I loved IT. And now that I'm an IT Student, I had so much regrets and wanted to be a Nursing student. But I guess for the next days I'll be pleased to be a Missionary, spreading the words of God.



I realized lots of things and figured out lots of reasons why am I like this. One, I'm not yet ready for college life (i.e. being bombarded with lots of school stuffs, dealing complex and exaggerated arithmetic and having a social climber friends which is so hard to deal with. It's just that I don't have a choice.)

Second, I have my own crisis like being ignored by my own parents. I feel like I'm not important to them. My works and deeds aren't appreciated.

Third, nah. Too personal.

But I can't deny that I also have some mistakes. I became too lazy for studying and was influenced by my friends which made me a braggart. I'm not like this before. I know I've changed a lot.


Hope you could help me decide. Toodles.